You We Are Here

Writing It All Down:

New month—new leaf? Day one tells my brain that it could be the magic that makes it stick, creates the resolve to be better about it. Although the one side knows that all that is magical rationalization and horse shit , the other side welcomes the superficial promise of better days ahead—that even layer of virginal white frosting hiding the misshapen cake that lies beneath.

Mmmmmm, Cake:

Speaking of cake, I haven’t had any in a damn long time. My office has been awash in cake for the past two weeks—but I kept my resolve and tasted not. In fact, I’ve not been eating much at all outside of grilled chicken, salads, boiled eggs and grilled turkey patties for almost 4 months now. My gym/running routine has been fairly strong and consistent as well. Pretty pleased with the results too.

Oh Give Me A Home:

Speaking of results, after weeks of looking at he same bare wall studs, the same bare floors and the same ripped up staircase—the rennovations on Morningwood Manor have kicked into high gear. In just the past week, all of the new windows were installed, the home theatre system was wired along with the music speakers throughout the house on each floor, and all the sheetrock was completed. Next week, the kitchen cabinets arrive and all of the flooring is being laid down at the same time that the built-in bookcases are being constructed for the downstairs room. Our architect is still telling us we can move back in on May 24—so we are keeping our fingers crossed. Of course, this means I now have to start packing/editing/trashing all of my stuff to prepare for the merging of households.

In Spite of Ourselves

Speaking of merging, I have to say—I think PM and I have passed the stress test. Going through a home renovation is one of, if not the most stressful thing a couple can experience together. The constant delays, decisions, disagreements and dissapointments can really bring out the worst in people.  It’s an exhausting and frustrating experience most of the time and can bring with it a real sense of powerlessness —everything about how soon it will be done is totally out of your hands and it’s just too easy to take that frustration out on each other. On top of all that, we have literally been on top of each other since February when PM moved into my place for the duration of the construction. Cramped quarters and having to step around and over suitcases and bins of shoes have not been easy for me—and I’m sure living out of said suitcases and bins has not been easy for him either. But I have to say—I think overall, we have handled it well with each other. I would be lying if I said we have not had a few disagreements and squabbles long the way.  But we have never given in to our lesser selves and become angry or mean with each other. At no time have either of us felt that it was a power struggle for control. I think we have both been very good about listening to what the other wants and compromising when it didn’t jive with what the other had in his head.  We have been fortunate in that we both share a similar design aesthetic—which has been good, but I think it’s more important that rather than viewing this process as a struggle for dominance, we see it as building something—building our home.

It’s been a difficult experience—but I can honestly say that I know no other person I would rather go through it with than him. I still wake up every day, and find myself a little bit more in love with him than the day before.